One year ago today....

Dion here, thought I would share with you my thoughts on the past year.....plus I am away today for a business meeting....it was either spend the evening with co-workers or tell my wife how this past year has changed me.....

One year ago today I got a phone call from a hysterical Valerie, she was sobbing loudly on the other end and I was still at work. She had scheduled an appointment to "check out" a small lump on her right breast that I had felt myself just a few days before. I don't recall ever getting a call from her where she started off crying, so I do remember it vividly. She tried to tell me that the doctors had just told her she had cancer. I could hear her say it, but I really don't think it sank in....I remember saying "it will be alright, you'll be OK", and when I could tell she was not really listening (can you blame her? No!) I asked her to put the doctor on the phone. I remember thinking "she needs to calm down, why is she so hysterical?" Dr Senofsky was kind enough to take the phone and explained to me that Valerie had breast cancer. I think I responded with an "OK" and all I remember asking him was "do you think she can drive, or do I need to pick her up?". I felt this need to hold her, to tell her it was "going to be alright" and that we would get through this. I remember being very angry with myself for not being there, I should have been there. I wish I had been there for that appointment to help her through those first minutes. I guess that is one thing I would have changed if I could do it all over again....actually if I could do it all over again....well I think you know, I would never wish this journey on anyone and wish it would NEVER happen again!

Well, it has happened, so what have I learned?

• I learned Valerie is such a strong woman, she brings a smile to many faces and people want to be around her. I was worried in the beginning, and so were her doctors. They had many conversations with me and with both Valerie and I about her attitude and how you have got to look for the positives and move forward with life. Easy for me to say, I was not diagnosed with cancer.
• I know everyone is different, but I learned Valerie needed time to vent, grieve, hate, cry and then look to the positives.
• I learned my wife can strut her stuff on a catwalk (and look HOT!) and bring a crowded room to tears.
• I learned I knew nothing about cancer (still learning) or how many lives it affects every day.
• I learned people deal with it in different ways, some walk, some talk, some give, some take, some cry, some hug, some pray but EVERYONE deals with it in the way they think is best for them.
• I learned that some people cook WAY better than my wife (I guess I always knew that!) but I really learned I would rather have her make our dinner any day!
• I learned the meaning of "...in sickness and in health" and I intend to keep that promise!
• I learned that even though I may get embarrassed by my wife's loud outbursts, or foot in mouth comments, or wearing her feelings on her sleeve (and proclaiming them to anyone within earshot that may or may not know her), that in the end I love her for those moments.
• I learned to make sacrifices and not always be the one who wins (I didn't say I was perfect at this, I said I am learning!), which would explain the dog in the house.
• I learned (or got reinforcement) that I definitely married the right woman!
• I learned life does go on....

So it has been a year, that is my greatest joy, I got to spend another year with Valerie, that beautiful woman I met in May 1991 and married in July 1994. I've learned to enjoy (even the ones when we fight) EVERY single day we spend together and am looking forward to many more years!

I am proud of you Valerie and I love you dearly!