I am offically off of bed rest TODAY!!! YA!!. Yes, I went to Clovis to pick up the puppy, but I was sitting the whole time. I figured there was not much difference between sitting in a car or sitting on the couch. I think my mother was not to happy with me, but I am fine. I really did take it easy and I am still going to take it easy. Everything is great. VAL

I finally got my puppy. I have been wanting a dog in the house for years, but Dion has allergies to dog dander. I began doing my research and found a new hybrid type of dog. It is called a Goldendoodle. It is a mix between a Poodle and a Golden Retriever. This breed is supposed to be hypoallergenic. So far, I would have to agree!!! We brought him home yesterday. Meet his parents Buttercup and Ramsey. He is a Poodle mixed with a Goldendoodle and he is really sweet. He was born on Dec.12 of last year. He is going to be a BIG dog (we expect around 60-70 lbs). Yes he is also going to be an indoor dog too. We were very lucky to get him. These types of dogs are very expensive because they are in high demand due to the fact that they are hypoallergenic and great family dogs. A WONDERFUL couple (The McDonalds)in Clovis, CA (gateway to Yosemite and about a 3 hour drive from our home), allowed us to take him to his new home. The McDonalds are wonderful people. They welcomed us with open arms and hearts and were very generous in their gift to us, we could not have afforded him without their generosity. They gave him to us along with a microchip already in him, a collar, leash, dog food, a ton of puppy toys, brush, and a notebook filled with information. He is such a GOOD Puppy!!! We are very happy to have him join our family. He is going to be my therapy dog!!! Today is a great day!!!!

If you are looking for a great hypo-allergenic family dog, and you can travel to Central California to pick one up, we both highly recommend http://www.rainbowsendpuppies.com/

Our new 14 week old puppy

I thought I had it going on!!!! I had no pain, no bleeding, I felt GREAT...until...this morning. To make a long story short...I popped a stitch. I was very scared because I have been fine for three weeks and now all of a sudden I began to bleed. I wont get into the details, but I had to leave work early and Dr. Marter fixed me up. He said that I have to take it easy and go on bed rest for a day or so. I'll have to try and do my best, but it is not easy just sitting down. I want to do things and have fun, but that time will come soon. I am not having any pain, so I guess I will go and take a nap. Love, VAL

This is my friend Stephanie. I met her in the oncologist office at the beginning of my diagnosis. We went through Chemo together and we have really become good friends. She has young children too, that my children absolutely love. We went to her house on Sunday for a BBQ and Swim. We had a blast. My kids really loved her dogs, but they did seem to bark a lot!!! (inside joke between Steph and I)

These are my new fake bangs. Dion does not care for them, but I feel really comfortable not wearing a wig. It is my new "PUNK" look. At breakfast the other day, Dion said that a group of boys were looking at my hair and discussing it amongst themselves. I decided that I was so hip,and cool, that of course they were talking about me. I was HOT looking. Dion said that he doesn't think that is what they were saying...but like I believe in the positive!!!!:)

I saw two doctors on Friday and this is what they said:

Dr Watson (plastic surgeon)- He said that my breasts have scar tissue around them and so it is making the implant "HARD". The implant is actually soft, but the scar tissue forms around it and makes it seem hard. He gave me two options.

The first was to just take out the old expander and scrape the scar tissue away and then replace the expander with the new silicone implant. The surgery is minor and the recovery period is quick. Then with the new implants I may get scar tissue again or not. No one knows. It is a gamble.

The second option was to take out the expander and the scar tissue muscle and replace the muscle with a muscle from one side of my buttocks. He would then lipo section the other side to make them match one another. This would guarantee that the scar tissue would never come back and I would never have to worry about "hard" breasts again. The downfall is the recovery period is really long and the surgery is 4-6 hours long.

Dr. Watson was pushing the second option pretty hard, but I just don't think I am ready for that now. He said I can always do the first option and then if that does not work, then we can still do the second option. So, I think I am going to try and do the least invasive surgery. I would have enjoyed the lipo suction, but I am hoping that after training for my Avon Walk that I won't need it anymore. Yes I am a big dreamer!!!

The second Doctor appointment was with Dr. Marter (the Gyno). He says that I am doing great. I just have to remember no lifting and no exercise. There goes my idea of beginning training this week for the Avon Walk. He got a good laugh when I asked him if I could go water skiing in two weeks. So, no water skiing, but he said that I could go swimming. I have to take what I can get.

I am doing really well after surgery. I am driving and doing all of my normal things. I am still trying to take it easy because even though I feel great, I still have stitches inside and it is a 6 week recovery period. I keep having to remind myself of that.

This is our Team T-Shirt for our Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. I thought it was really cute. I figured everyone has bumps in their lives, some are bigger that others. You can take it literally and compare sizes or you can think about it and realize that everyone has different size obstacles in their lives. I just thought the shirt was fun and now I have some "BUMPS " to show off!!! I am going to go this week and get fitted for walking shoes, then I have to begin training for the walk. The doctors say that walking will be really good for me, so next week, I'll begin training. If anyone wants to join me on my walk then please join the "Team Bumps Ahead". I think there are 3 or 4 of us on the team so far. My parents are going to be Crew Members and help put the walk on. I am very excited to have them there. It will be fun seeing them support all of the walkers and survivors.

Oh, I ordered the shirt at Cafepress.com. It cost $16.79 and then $5.00 shipping. None of the proceeds, that I know of, go to breast cancer research. It is just a normal store. Just click on Cafepress.com and it will take you to the Internet link.

Good Morning. Today is Friday and I am finally feeling pretty good. I am off of the vicodin and just taking advil for the little bit of discomfort that I still have. I am feeling quite well, I just have to walk slowly and I am not allowed to lift anything heavy. My parents have been staying at my house and helping me get the kids off to school everyday. I couldn't do it without them. My friends have been bringing dinner to us this week and Dion Loves that!!!! I couldn't do it without them either. I am just so happy be healthy today!!! Love ya and have a good weekend. VAL

Valerie and her mom...checking e-mail in her bed

Doing great!

Surgery is done. Valerie is fine, but still in recovery

Off to surgery at 8:55 AM

Well it is Sunday night and I am having surgery tomorrow. I have to be at Henry Mayo Newhall Memorial Hospital at 7:30am. My surgery is supposed to be at 9:30. It is supposed to be about 3 hours, so Dion should update the blog around 12:30 to let you know how everything went. I have decided to have a total hysterectomy. People are asking me why...well, I have to get rid of the ovaries because they produce estrogen and I might as well get rid of everything else because I am not going to use it again. I figure it is one less place the cancer can go...so just take it out. I am looking at the positives....NO MORE PERIODS!!!! I have got to be happy about that!!! I will be in the hospital for one night and then home on Tuesday afternoon. Love you all. VAL

I am so happy...VAL

Me too! Dion :-)

Good news around the world as well! Valerie's friend Dawn in Australia has been going on this same "journey" and just finished her own radiation treatment. Dawn always has postive comments and e-mails for Valerie, which I know helps pull Valerie's spirits up on many days.....hopefully we can meet her one day in the near future. Make Dawn's day today....you can post a positive message to Dawn on her blog at: http://dawnstan.blogspot.com/

Its 12:02 pm and I just got a call from Dr. Barstis about the PET scan. I am crying...but they are tears of relief. He said that everything is fine. There were a few "Hot" spots on the breast, but those are from surgery. He said the whole arm pit area is clear and nothing showed up. Everywhere else looks good too. I am so happy. I have another one in 3 months, but I feel better now. I have been so stressed for the past 3 days that I am just happy to be OK. VAL

My hair

Good Morning. I read Dion's past posts and I realize that we need to communicate more (I think we communicate fine...I think she had a lot on her mind (rightly so) and every time I asked for details, I got different facts...I am glad this week is past us, as I write this I can tell you it is nice to have Valerie back to normal...well OK normal is a subjective term, but you know what I mean :-)...Dion). I had a 90% chance of the cancer coming back if I had only done the surgery. I opted to do Radiation and Chemo, so that dropped that % of it coming back. I do not know what that % is because I am too afraid to ask. Dr. Barstis did a whole bunch of blood work on me last week and he said that everything looked good. So I am really believing that the PET scan will be Negative. So, no I do NOT have a 90% chance of it being somewhere else in my body TODAY. I am hoping that I have .05% chance of it being in my body today, but I really don't know the % because...like I said before...I am to afraid to ask. Sometimes not knowing everything is OK. Wish me luck....VAL

15 Minutes of misery, that is all that is allowed! :-) OK, you will likely read my post below and say "wow, they are not doing good". Here it is about an hour after that post, and both our feelings have changed. I am going to leave it, as I want to remember my hard times (I must have re-wrote that post seven times trying to make it not so negative).

We just finished reading an article that a neighbor suggested we read about Heather Warrick (another cancer survivor that Valerie actually did some articles with). Heather has been living with stage-four cancer for over 10 years, and has had seven recurrences. You have got to remember this thing can (and will) be beat!

Happy Monday!

Well Monday is a big day, and then again it is just another Monday! Valerie is scheduled to have her first full body PET scan since the completion of all her treatment. As she said below, she took this back in June when they first diagnosed her with Cancer, other than the tumors in her breasts and lymph nodes, it was negative in the rest of her body. This time we are hoping (praying, believing, demanding, wishing) that it comes back negative again. Bottom line, they are looking for Cancer "seeds" or "little ones that got away" that could be in other parts of her body. We expect to have results by Thursday. Last week she met with Dr. Barstis (I missed this appointment so not sure she heard this right) and he said there was a 90% chance that the test will come back positive....ummm that does not seem like a very good percentage, so I am going to believe she heard it wrong, and wait for Thursday's results.

We've talked alot about this upcoming test. You would think we could get over it, realize it will be what it will be, easier said than done. Sorry I have not posted in awhile, guess it was my way of dealing with this. Trying to make it a "non-event", issue resolved, time to move on! But deep down it eats at me, I know I can't fix it, I can't see it, I can't cure it and it really pisses me off.

Geez that was a bummer of a post....sorry, we are upbeat that Thursday will be better than Monday!

Valerie enjoying Irish coffee while we watch the kids snowboard

I am feeling better today!!! Love you all!!! VAL

I will have surgery on March 5th. This will either be the removal of the ovaries or a whole hysterectomy. I am leaning towards removing all of it because it would be one less thing I would have to worry about. Just thought you would like to know.

I am also having a full body PET scan on Monday, Feb. 26. This will tell me if the cancer has spread to other parts of my body. I had a PET scan last June and it was negative, so I am hoping for the same results. I forget how long it takes them to get the test results back, but I am sure by Friday, March 2 I will know. I will be getting PET scans every 3 months for awhile.

Today is not a good day. It sucks. I went to a bossom Buddie meeting last night to give support to other breast cancer survivors and learn how to read my pathology report. To make a long story short I was able to "stage" my Cancer. I am a Stage IIIc. This is the stage RIGHT BEFORE stage IV. It caught me by surprise because my oncologist said that I was a stage IIc or IIIa. For some reason it makes a difference to me. I know that I would not do anything different, but I just began to feel like normal. I just began to feel my life returning to me. I didn't think about cancer every minute of everyday. Now I feel like I am back at the beginning all over again. I am sad. I know I will get over this because nothing has really changed, but I wish I didn't find out. Knowledge is not always power. I think not knowing sometimes is OK. I liked believing that I was a stage IIc. Even though Stage IIc is not good...it was better that stage IIIc. Love you all and send me prayers today. P.S. I felt so sad that I actually let the dog sleep in my bed last night. She made me feel better :)